BananaBeak

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BananaBeak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 799
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About BananaBeak : An 18 year old overgrown child from England, the land of wizards. My life consists of drinking, reading and watching 'Doctor Who' obsessively.

BananaBeak's page activity

Visits<b>badjujitsu</b> - the 11/13/2012 at 4:34pm

BananaBeak's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of BananaBeak's badges

BananaBeak's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

by fourfootnine / 03/07/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

by nick / 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

by GirlishMan1883897 / 07/24/2010 at 6:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

by ouch / 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

by HeShe / 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2009 at 12:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

by unwanted / 08/11/2009 at 4:31pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

by tgstreaks / 04/23/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML

by BrilsmurfO_O / 04/06/2009 at 10:12am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

by Jessie / 02/23/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation