About BananaBeak : An 18 year old overgrown child from England, the land of wizards. My life consists of drinking, reading and watching 'Doctor Who' obsessively.
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BananaBeak's favorite FMLs
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
by Miki13 / 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML
by Danny / 11/11/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML
by Kallian / 11/09/2012 at 1:47am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 12:49am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
by cowgirl / 11/06/2012 at 12:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Ugggggggggg / 11/06/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Spoilicious / 11/05/2012 at 10:58am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
by sad / 11/05/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by PleaseDontBeSerious / 11/04/2012 at 1:30am / Canada / Kids
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
by justcomesnaturally / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by xXfloatingshitlogXx / 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…