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BGFM's FML badges
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BGFM's favorite FMLs
by Olive14 / 12/16/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids
by halloweensucks / 10/31/2010 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 10:00am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
by Fire_Crotch / 08/14/2010 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by kiki / 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/04/2010 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (London) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size he asked for me to find a ring that I liked and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh the generosity. FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 12:04am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance… Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because,… Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were…