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BGFM

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 January 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2550
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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BGFM's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40394) - you deserved it (9565)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

#13678660
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9611) - you deserved it (37162)

On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I spent over an hour decorating my house for trick or treaters. I never got one person at my door because I forgot to unlock my gate. FML

#13667842
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7386) - you deserved it (30404)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:08pm - misc - by halloweensucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63991) - you deserved it (9101)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (7990)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (3927)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (9948)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (43094)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40877) - you deserved it (3459)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41399) - you deserved it (7321)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

#9102089
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (9003)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size he asked for me to find a ring that I liked and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh the generosity. FML

#9062529
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12558) - you deserved it (31389)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:04am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (20253)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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