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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33417) - you deserved it (4990)
On 12/16/2010 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Olive14 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (7291)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (46330)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6743) - you deserved it (26012)
On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I spent over an hour decorating my house for trick or treaters. I never got one person at my door because I forgot to unlock my gate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5051) - you deserved it (20517)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:08pm - misc - by halloweensucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49378) - you deserved it (6477)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (6127)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (2708)
On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (7499)
On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4893) - you deserved it (30345)
On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I realized my name in French means 'penis'. This wouldn't be as bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (2389)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to moisturise my dogs testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (5389)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18507) - you deserved it (6541)
On 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size he asked for me to find a ring that I liked and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh the generosity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8747) - you deserved it (20863)
On 03/14/2010 at 12:04am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15548) - you deserved it (15071)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
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