About B5B0N35 : HI random person my name is Leo. message me if you want I also have a kik if you wana talk ask for It
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
I agree, your life sucks (36063) - you deserved it (1980)
On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4463) - you deserved it (32274)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (1195)
On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (5055)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16560) - you deserved it (5438)
On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML
I agree, your life sucks (15841) - you deserved it (5634)
On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15139) - you deserved it (1980)
On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (15635)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5792) - you deserved it (75887)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17847) - you deserved it (1166)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (7339)
Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awake during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15362) - you deserved it (7352)
On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (1895)
On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7626) - you deserved it (28335)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22390) - you deserved it (2010)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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