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Offline (the 08/27/2016 at 9:07pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 11008
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About B5B0N35 : i am only human

B5B0N35's page activity

Visits<b>dotgood23</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 3:34pm<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 10:01pm<b>chicken_dip</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 3:18am<b>AnonTurtle</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 3:33pm<b>XxMuFaSaxX</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 8:12pm<b>theinfiniteend</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 2:03pm<b>fidoyal</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Andrmelon</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:15pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:40pm<b>senorunicorn</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 12:25am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 9:43pm<b>riversong2000</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:35am<b>uhmmpaola</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:41am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:03am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:10pm<b>n_g97</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:08am<b>Kikiers21042</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:23am<b>ILoveMyArm</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:37pm

B5B0N35's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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B5B0N35's favorite FMLs

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

by brunetteshavemorefun / 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

by mahanaaa_23 / 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

by junkie / 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

by kidyounot / 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

by crazy mother in law / 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm / Intimacy