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B5B0N35

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B5B0N35
  • Town/Country : In , Heaven
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3201
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About B5B0N35 : i am only human

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B5B0N35's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (3852)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (35200)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (4734)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (8391)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44784) - you deserved it (5466)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30616) - you deserved it (7918)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31492) - you deserved it (4549)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (4079)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (1995)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34843) - you deserved it (4045)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46130) - you deserved it (3505)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (23509)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75812) - you deserved it (23129)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States



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