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B5B0N35

Offline (the 10/25/2014 at 8:01pm) | Search for a member

B5B0N35

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 5470
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About B5B0N35 : i am only human

B5B0N35's page activity

Visits<b>Fooflybag</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 11:29pm<b>NotSoHigh</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:49am<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:36pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:28pm<b>underthestars55</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:18am<b>lexithepirate</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:03am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:50pm<b>ImmaBelieverr</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:46pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:01am<b>TheLastSerenade</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:21pm<b>plateface1998</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:08am<b>emmachristine</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:02pm<b>alex_nsn</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:09am<b>DavidX</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:22pm<b>phoebeperry6</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 11:36pm<b>zjc2020</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:23pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 3:21pm<b>MatteKudasai</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:16am

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B5B0N35's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28900) - you deserved it (2115)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29247) - you deserved it (2231)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (38141)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (4345)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (4019)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (5483)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (6692)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23704) - you deserved it (35306)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68686) - you deserved it (3919)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52732) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41007) - you deserved it (4488)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30561) - you deserved it (4281)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39935) - you deserved it (4879)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (4022)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)



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