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B5B0N35

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B5B0N35

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4525
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About B5B0N35 : i am only human

B5B0N35's page activity

Visits<b>underthestars55</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:18am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:23pm<b>lexithepirate</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:03am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:50pm<b>ImmaBelieverr</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:46pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:01am<b>TheLastSerenade</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:21pm<b>plateface1998</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:08am<b>emmachristine</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:02pm<b>alex_nsn</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:09am<b>DavidX</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:22pm<b>phoebeperry6</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 11:36pm<b>zjc2020</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:23pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:49pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 3:21pm<b>MatteKudasai</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:16am<b>cooljak96</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 5:38pm<b>BlitzPKF</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 1:38pm

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B5B0N35's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133708) - you deserved it (11921)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML

#433084
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73317) - you deserved it (13612)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (189075)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141744) - you deserved it (15929)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (47303)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (103346)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84193) - you deserved it (5620)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

#99356
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28213) - you deserved it (78072)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82762) - you deserved it (10942)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12996) - you deserved it (22215)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

#3715
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (1689)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)



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