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B5B0N35

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B5B0N35
  • Town/Country : In , Heaven
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3187
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About B5B0N35 : i am only human

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B5B0N35's favorite FMLs

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (5847)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33705) - you deserved it (5339)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117197) - you deserved it (5934)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44676) - you deserved it (24291)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (3793)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

#16577754
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36355) - you deserved it (4282)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized my 3 year old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year old father. FML

#16197778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26378) - you deserved it (5654)

On 05/15/2011 at 11:40pm - kids - by blewidstepr (woman) -

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (3524)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (39631)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (9837)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I was robbed. They took my father's ashes. FML

#15741508
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88756) - you deserved it (4490)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by stolen - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (50938)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18629) - you deserved it (86507)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

#15273802
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (5807)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:33am - misc - by uncoretard -

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (80506)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)



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