B5B0N35

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 5:14am)

B5B0N35

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 10467
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About B5B0N35 : i am only human

B5B0N35's page activity

Visits<b>chicken_dip</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 3:18am<b>AnonTurtle</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 3:33pm<b>XxMuFaSaxX</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 8:12pm<b>theinfiniteend</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 2:03pm<b>fidoyal</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Andrmelon</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:15pm<b>jamjam276</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:40pm<b>senorunicorn</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 12:25am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 9:43pm<b>riversong2000</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:35am<b>uhmmpaola</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:41am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:03am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:10pm<b>n_g97</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:08am<b>Kikiers21042</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:23am<b>ILoveMyArm</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:37pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:40pm<b>swaggincats</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:29pm

B5B0N35's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of B5B0N35's badges

B5B0N35's favorite FMLs

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

by Seriously? / 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

by emmingle / 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

by KatiRozz1 / 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm / United Kingdom (Middlesbrough) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

by chickenmcnuggetgirl / 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Meath) / Intimacy