About B5B0N35 : HI random person my name is Leo. message me if you want I also have a kik if you wana talk ask for It
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (23781)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by sugarysofalof - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (7313)
On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44162) - you deserved it (4190)
On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (50756)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39101) - you deserved it (2935)
On 06/01/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by WHOO HOO AIDS (woman) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20924) - you deserved it (107149)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (2169)
On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51648) - you deserved it (3812)
On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40324) - you deserved it (2556)
On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48644) - you deserved it (2402)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (2030)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (3398)
On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44061) - you deserved it (4523)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51808) - you deserved it (3838)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44545) - you deserved it (9887)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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