About B4m1337 : I'm a gaming nerd and a biker ^~^ Feel free to message me on Kik! It's B4m1337
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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
B4m1337's favorite FMLs
Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by helpfulmom / 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9'oclock curfew. I'm 18. FML
by creeped_out_ / 06/24/2009 at 5:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML
by jazzyfizzle / 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2009 at 8:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by notsexy / 05/09/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by princess / 03/17/2009 at 1:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by ADT / 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…