About B4m1337 : I love to play video games!
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Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (13487)
Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (13487)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33324) - you deserved it (13136)
On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31815) - you deserved it (7657)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States
Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (5236)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (2308)
On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia
Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16143) - you deserved it (9609)
On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28069) - you deserved it (4809)
On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17480) - you deserved it (19051)
On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (3424)
On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13632) - you deserved it (2736)
On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33360) - you deserved it (1495)
On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7094) - you deserved it (8771)
On 12/05/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anon - United Kingdom (Leicester)
Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27806) - you deserved it (1487)
On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46146) - you deserved it (6115)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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