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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML
Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML
Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML
Monday 18 August 2014