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Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (160656) - you deserved it (10883)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32845) - you deserved it (141246)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109972) - you deserved it (14730)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51737) - you deserved it (2851)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63088) - you deserved it (3512)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by arrrrggggghhhh (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21709) - you deserved it (35691)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (383304)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (2630)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33172) - you deserved it (1334)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by Johnny on the Spot (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (10670)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (3968)
On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version
Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7544) - you deserved it (5341)
On 01/12/2009 at 3:34pm - work - by Leaving Early Fail - United States (California)
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13124) - you deserved it (4911)
On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (16199)
On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25278) - you deserved it (1313)
On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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