About AndyAutopsy : My name is Andy. I am aware that it is a strange name for a girl. I enjoy the comments of perdix, NoorFML, DocBastard, and many other people. I'm just too lazy to type the rest of them out. I am somewhat of a grammar nazi, and if I see that you have made a grammatical error, I will call you out on it. That is all.
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (2345)
On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11586) - you deserved it (41220)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44319) - you deserved it (2986)
On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (4118)
On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5943) - you deserved it (44675)
On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (5005)
On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (5073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was tending the cash register. I scanned a lady's items which totaled $89.68. She paid with a $100 bill. I gave her $11.32 change. She angrily gave back the extra dollar and complained about "schools nowadays". I'm an AP Calculus student. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (37453)
On 01/13/2011 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (2505)
On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -
Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (1565)
On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31802) - you deserved it (6157)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (3512)
On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (4710)
On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (4710)
On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -
Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4667) - you deserved it (36260)
On 12/10/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by eyeleanify (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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