About AndyAutopsy : My name is Andy. I am aware that it is a strange name for a girl. I enjoy the comments of perdix, NoorFML, DocBastard, and many other people. I'm just too lazy to type the rest of them out. I am somewhat of a grammar nazi, and if I see that you have made a grammatical error, I will call you out on it. That is all.
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Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8394) - you deserved it (26200)
On 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm - misc - by knzknz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (3772)
On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20239) - you deserved it (6897)
On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18897) - you deserved it (1906)
On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States
Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (2326)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (2409)
On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (8536)
On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (2477)
On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (6817)
On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (2121)
On 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm - health - by teeth (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife heard that wifi could be harmful for our newborn baby's undeveloped brain box. Her solution was to switch the wifi off on our laptops. She won't listen to the flaw in her plan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20349) - you deserved it (2357)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm - health - by anonymous - United States
Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (8423)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (8610)
On 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by youjustsuck (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (3556)
On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)
Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (31252)
On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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