About AndyAutopsy : My name is Andy. I am aware that it is a strange name for a girl. I enjoy the comments of perdix, NoorFML, DocBastard, and many other people. I'm just too lazy to type the rest of them out. I am somewhat of a grammar nazi, and if I see that you have made a grammatical error, I will call you out on it. That is all.
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Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (4226)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (7238)
On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (3774)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15763) - you deserved it (1863)
On 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm - misc - by Meowingtons500 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20605) - you deserved it (2680)
On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (13250)
On 11/17/2011 at 6:22am - health - by ray - United States
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (16883)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20962) - you deserved it (11265)
On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6930) - you deserved it (25064)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:52am - health - by pain - United States
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (12643)
On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (2176)
On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (40965) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (7730)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (6816)
On 10/11/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by lollymay13 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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