AndyAutopsy

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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:51am)

AndyAutopsy

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7362
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

AndyAutopsy's page activity

Visits<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:52pm<b>james08</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:02pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:19am<b>rebow</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:44pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 5:45am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:27pm<b>jacksonpm23</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:30am<b>teejaycro</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:45pm<b>bushytomatoe</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:47am<b>black_sher</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:31pm<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:53pm<b>je83185</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:29am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:08am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:27pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:32pm<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:06am<b>brittn3yxrawrr</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 7:47pm<b>jacksonpm23</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:30am

AndyAutopsy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of AndyAutopsy's badges

AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

by CA19oo / 05/27/2012 at 9:13am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

by DJ Clitter / 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm / United States / Transportation

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

by Deadman / 04/02/2012 at 9:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

by Jacklyn / 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

by BlueBirdWings / 03/06/2012 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

by wobble... / 02/23/2012 at 6:29am / Australia / Miscellaneous