About AndyAutopsy : My name is Andy. I am aware that it is a strange name for a girl. I enjoy the comments of perdix, NoorFML, DocBastard, and many other people. I'm just too lazy to type the rest of them out. I am somewhat of a grammar nazi, and if I see that you have made a grammatical error, I will call you out on it. That is all.
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Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36508) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (1288)
On 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm - health - by onorexveritas - United States (California)
Today, I learned that my 76 year old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15540) - you deserved it (1066)
On 09/01/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by MsConfusedd - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (2152)
On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19950) - you deserved it (4783)
On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14122) - you deserved it (4007)
On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (3518)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6752) - you deserved it (17235)
On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4461) - you deserved it (51335)
On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (2069)
On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5351) - you deserved it (21266)
On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22918) - you deserved it (3474)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29507) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16210) - you deserved it (1480)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17584) - you deserved it (2864)
On 05/27/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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