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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:51am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7710
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

AndyAutopsy's page activity

Visits<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:52pm<b>james08</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:02pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:19am<b>rebow</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:44pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 5:45am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:27pm<b>jacksonpm23</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:30am<b>teejaycro</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:45pm<b>bushytomatoe</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:47am<b>black_sher</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:31pm<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:53pm<b>je83185</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:29am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:08am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:27pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:32pm<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:06am<b>brittn3yxrawrr</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 7:47pm<b>jacksonpm23</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:30am

AndyAutopsy's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Kids

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

by SalonGirl / 03/10/2009 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

by poop / 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

by wideman / 02/28/2009 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

by Fenny / 02/27/2009 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

by Kasizzle / 02/26/2009 at 9:13am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

by LilShawty2000 / 02/24/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

by NeverGonnaGetAny / 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

by Nails / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy