About AndyAutopsy : My name is Andy. I am aware that it is a strange name for a girl. I enjoy the comments of perdix, NoorFML, DocBastard, and many other people. I'm just too lazy to type the rest of them out. I am somewhat of a grammar nazi, and if I see that you have made a grammatical error, I will call you out on it. That is all.
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53354) - you deserved it (17166)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54263) - you deserved it (5266)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182888) - you deserved it (61936)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28259) - you deserved it (4259)
On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17965) - you deserved it (43827)
On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6994) - you deserved it (96464)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (4496)
On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (7595)
On 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by woo. - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12401) - you deserved it (2564)
On 01/15/2009 at 10:07am - love - by dexter - United States (California)
Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19595) - you deserved it (5611)
On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14353) - you deserved it (5945)
On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (1317)
On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version
I agree, your life sucks (15591) - you deserved it (4311)
On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13988) - you deserved it (2795)
On 12/08/2008 at 3:46am - misc - by Heyhey - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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