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AndyAutopsy

Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:51am) | Search for a member

AndyAutopsy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2699
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

AndyAutopsy's page activity

Visits<b>adam97</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:09am<b>1644780</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:44pm<b>metalguitarist89</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:09pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:33am<b>Betterthanu123</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:34am<b>cheshiro</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:04pm<b>misfitmask</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:47pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:58am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:06pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:58pm<b>rastapasta</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:36am<b>Johnny_Boy_Jr</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:31pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:43pm<b>dementxrs</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:23pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:59pm<b>LeviC</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 10:06am

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AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

#831202
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63819) - you deserved it (11780)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163571) - you deserved it (26553)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

#765462
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66193) - you deserved it (7435)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81766) - you deserved it (16167)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (81140)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

#508489
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49966) - you deserved it (34335)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by emilyxoxoxo - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71576) - you deserved it (16556)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101219) - you deserved it (6311)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63536) - you deserved it (19562)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (41555)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15095) - you deserved it (59544)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12246) - you deserved it (68629)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62691) - you deserved it (7146)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60894) - you deserved it (21069)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)



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