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AndyAutopsy

Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:51am) | Search for a member

AndyAutopsy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3057
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

AndyAutopsy's page activity

Visits<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:06am<b>brittn3yxrawrr</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:22am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:19pm<b>adam97</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:09am<b>1644780</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:44pm<b>metalguitarist89</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:09pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:33am<b>Betterthanu123</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:34am<b>cheshiro</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:04pm<b>misfitmask</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:47pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:58am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:06pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:58pm<b>rastapasta</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:36am<b>Johnny_Boy_Jr</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:31pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:43pm

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AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21889) - you deserved it (53479)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75231) - you deserved it (6081)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36459) - you deserved it (11612)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54100) - you deserved it (2807)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

#3423786
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35846) - you deserved it (12773)

On 07/02/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by nobleach - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45172) - you deserved it (11416)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63147) - you deserved it (26309)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the love of my life, who I've been going out with for two weeks only, asked me out because he lost a bet. Apparently I'm the punishment for not being able to eat 10 hot dogs. FML

#3053802
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50283) - you deserved it (11333)

On 06/20/2009 at 4:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11626) - you deserved it (110919)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML

#2846826
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10631) - you deserved it (70022)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94716) - you deserved it (19989)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66357) - you deserved it (6339)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (75495)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (73522)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

#2295349
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15936) - you deserved it (58352)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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