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AndyAutopsy

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AndyAutopsy
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1623
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

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AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (4080)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (6819)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (6819)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

#5911191
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (6320)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh... Thats actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

#5862542
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (7462)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by oopsjsp90 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47946) - you deserved it (24209)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7476) - you deserved it (39944)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

#5554431
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5061) - you deserved it (24358)

On 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by pummy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49685) - you deserved it (2709)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came home from a business trip, I walked in to the house to find my husband nowhere to be seen. I called out his name and he came round the corner saying "Coming baby." When he came through the door he said "Oh it's you..." FML

#4923789
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47852) - you deserved it (2030)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a call from the Sheriff's dept. saying that water was coming out my front door. I ran home to find a waterfall cascading over my covered parking. It turns out my puppy had chewed through the hose that connects the toilet to the water. My entire condo had an inch of standing water. FML

#4892263
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31748) - you deserved it (4104)

On 08/28/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

#4582506
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11421) - you deserved it (29010)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (61006)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)



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