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AndyAutopsy

Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:51am) | Search for a member

AndyAutopsy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5289
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

AndyAutopsy's page activity

Visits<b>black_sher</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:31pm<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:53pm<b>je83185</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:29am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:08am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:27pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:32pm<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:06am<b>brittn3yxrawrr</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:22am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:19pm<b>adam97</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:09am<b>1644780</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:44pm<b>metalguitarist89</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:09pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:33am<b>Betterthanu123</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:34am<b>cheshiro</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:04pm<b>misfitmask</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:47pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:58am

AndyAutopsy's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of AndyAutopsy's badges

AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30746) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (32593)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

#7014156
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (2329)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

#6998610
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (2702)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

#6826579
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (41275)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6688) - you deserved it (31094)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12252) - you deserved it (37767)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14562) - you deserved it (35904)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

#6596856
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (6114)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:48am - intimacy - by Not-so-sexy - United States (Washington)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37203) - you deserved it (4635)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45892) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7714) - you deserved it (55602)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8920) - you deserved it (33624)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (4657)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (4458)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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