About AndyAutopsy : My name is Andy. I am aware that it is a strange name for a girl. I enjoy the comments of perdix, NoorFML, DocBastard, and many other people. I'm just too lazy to type the rest of them out. I am somewhat of a grammar nazi, and if I see that you have made a grammatical error, I will call you out on it. That is all.
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Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5229) - you deserved it (40087)
On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you deserved it (1509)
On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you deserved it (5360)
On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5221) - you deserved it (21058)
On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (1594)
On 01/23/2010 at 7:26pm - kids - by onemoreruinedthing (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7525) - you deserved it (20028)
On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17875) - you deserved it (1787)
On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (1725)
On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (24239)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18919) - you deserved it (1879)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6508) - you deserved it (28938)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4336) - you deserved it (21160)
On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10262) - you deserved it (25841)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14327) - you deserved it (5016)
On 12/04/2009 at 7:48am - intimacy - by Not-so-sexy - United States (Washington)
Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (3549)
On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong
Monday 20 May 2013
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