Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AndyAutopsy

Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:51am) | Search for a member

AndyAutopsy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2364
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

AndyAutopsy's page activity

Visits<b>1644780</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:44pm<b>metalguitarist89</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:09pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:33am<b>Betterthanu123</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:34am<b>cheshiro</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:04pm<b>misfitmask</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:47pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:58am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:06pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:58pm<b>rastapasta</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:36am<b>Johnny_Boy_Jr</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:31pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:43pm<b>dementxrs</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:23pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:59pm<b>LeviC</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 10:06am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:30am

AndyAutopsy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of AndyAutopsy's badges

AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

#13851970
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (10978)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47230) - you deserved it (17357)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

#13760701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6681) - you deserved it (27591)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:07am - animals - by yay! - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

#13688887
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35868) - you deserved it (4852)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:11pm - love - by secret - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML

#13615434
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12752) - you deserved it (27213)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

#13558265
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51429) - you deserved it (3986)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML

#13551763
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7518) - you deserved it (35728)

On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44741) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

#13536412
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (6597)

On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37926) - you deserved it (7985)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5226) - you deserved it (22501)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML

#13327149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7241) - you deserved it (34507)

On 10/05/2010 at 6:46am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

#13205814
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8441) - you deserved it (31797)

On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

#13153381
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (7504)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8426) - you deserved it (38110)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: