About AndyAutopsy : My name is Andy. I am aware that it is a strange name for a girl. I enjoy the comments of perdix, NoorFML, DocBastard, and many other people. I'm just too lazy to type the rest of them out. I am somewhat of a grammar nazi, and if I see that you have made a grammatical error, I will call you out on it. That is all.
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Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (7419)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4096) - you deserved it (19179)
On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5348) - you deserved it (25137)
On 10/05/2010 at 6:46am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6503) - you deserved it (22706)
On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16278) - you deserved it (5820)
On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (27908)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (3472)
On 09/05/2010 at 11:49am - misc - by wakinginvegas87 - United States (California)
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (4656)
On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9319) - you deserved it (18195)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (3219)
On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (18146)
On 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by xricardo - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7869) - you deserved it (26286)
On 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by GonnaGetFired - United States (Alaska)
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (3903)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8158) - you deserved it (13536)
On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5585) - you deserved it (46851)
On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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