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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:51am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7706
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

AndyAutopsy's page activity

Visits<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:52pm<b>james08</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:22pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:02pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:19am<b>rebow</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:44pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 5:45am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:27pm<b>jacksonpm23</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:30am<b>teejaycro</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:45pm<b>bushytomatoe</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:47am<b>black_sher</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:31pm<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:53pm<b>je83185</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:29am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:08am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:27pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:32pm<b>nikmiester</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:06am<b>brittn3yxrawrr</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 7:47pm<b>jacksonpm23</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:30am

AndyAutopsy's FML badges

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AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

by Uwrongfodat / 05/09/2013 at 6:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

by lex / 02/14/2013 at 6:01am / United States / Love

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

by assoutofuandme / 02/14/2013 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

by fviz / 02/07/2013 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

by Amathiel / 12/29/2012 at 10:23am / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.