Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Amrel

Search for a member

Amrel
  • Town/Country : , America, Who reads these anyways?, America, Who reads these anyways?, America, Who reads these anyways?, America, Who reads these anyways?, America, Who reads these anyways?, , Who reads these anyways?, America, Who reads these anyways? Texas, Who reads, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1688
  • Number of comments : 299
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Amrel : Oh Hai:)

I am here for my entertainment, not yours so if you reply to my comment insulting me you're just wasting your time.

"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein

I was also born on 7/28/95 BUT fml just keeps on making me, a few days older every week, or so.

For a living i like to electroencephalographically challenge people.

Incase many of you havent noticed, i dont care about grammar, and proper punctuation on the internet.(keyword: internet)

I have sleeping problems.

I love music.

All my pics are edited, or taken by me (iPhone camera ftw)

I decided not to make that list.

I need more "About me" space

I also really like QDB, and i think it should be updated more often.

Amrel's last visitors

SchindlersLisztdjsammycKyngJulianMiooowThursdayxolorellecaimythhoticecoffeeAstraphobe

Amrel's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Amrel's badges

Amrel's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38460) - you deserved it (3089)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37019) - you deserved it (6968)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

#15225525
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42842) - you deserved it (8213)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (44957)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

#13805619
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (2337)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6536) - you deserved it (38144)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (26906)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (18351)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7351) - you deserved it (61728)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2989) - you deserved it (45587)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8135) - you deserved it (45579)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24704) - you deserved it (6440)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you deserved it (45244)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, since we hadn't be romantic for a while, I shaved, bathed, cut my hair and snuggled naked up to my husband in bed. He got up went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML

#6379949
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (2896)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: