Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Amethyst888

Search for a member

Amethyst888

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8740
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Amethyst888 : My Moto:
"Start the day with a smile!
(it irritates people) :)

Amethyst888's page activity

Visits<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:06pm<b>aisg</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:25am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:28am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Val1020</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:33pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 7:17am<b>TheNew_Kid96</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:40pm<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:16pm<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:10pm<b>GeneratorHalf</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:56am<b>turnabouttrial</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 9:03pm<b>MrsKent123</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:07am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 9:18am<b>Treyzania</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 11:12pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 3:33am<b>ubertuber</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 9:47pm<b>MoeT8979</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 6:15pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 6:43am

Amethyst888's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Amethyst888's badges

Amethyst888's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46728) - you deserved it (12656)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58414) - you deserved it (6228)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53360) - you deserved it (11447)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53084) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58493) - you deserved it (18356)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42961) - you deserved it (17453)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42640) - you deserved it (3492)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (7980)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42612) - you deserved it (3862)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56187) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (12342)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45119) - you deserved it (10582)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45386) - you deserved it (4513)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44956) - you deserved it (7362)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: