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AmeliaSH's favorite FMLs
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
by wow / 08/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Kathryn / 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Health
by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
by preggo / 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
by ugly / 07/10/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by BerkeleyBiker / 04/19/2011 at 4:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML
by uggo / 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML
by smbcolorado / 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…