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Amburito

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Amburito
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 793
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Amburito's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36675) - you deserved it (5486)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

#18471784
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (13889)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

#18471784
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (13889)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25456) - you deserved it (3499)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (2676)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (4927)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (41026)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML

#18444427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (4332)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:13pm - love - by grannygirlfriend - United States

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (2798)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (2976)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML

#18364181
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:19am - health - by smellyhouse (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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