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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Alley_Way

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Alley_Way
  • Town/Country : Niceville, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 July 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 289
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Alley_Way's favorite FMLs

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (8742)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (46081)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

#2028672 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (14360) - you deserved it (22686)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by Richocet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (97749)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to Ralph's to get bread and a snack. While paying, an 80 year old lady, in a walker, took my bag while I wasn't watching. That's right, I got jacked by an 80 year old in a walker. FML

#1866289 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (5905)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by iJason (man) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

#1440141 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (35406) - you deserved it (5896)

On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang... straight to the table to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

#1435324 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (39609) - you deserved it (1841)

On 04/28/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the women's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

#1310599 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (3000)

On 04/25/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by GreenMonstR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (14535)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

#1224721 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (41763)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (70770)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (10990)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)