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Alan

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Alan
  • Town/Country : Toulouse, France
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 March 1972 (39 years)
  • Number of visits : 40240
  • Number of comments : 983
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Alan : I'm part of the FML team, I'm British but live in the south of France. I live with two cats, and most days I play the guitar in front of the TV. I ride a motorcycle in a sort of poor man's version of Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun', and go "woo hoo" as I ride by old people walking their dogs.

Alan's last visitors

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Alan's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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Alan's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my husband Googling the Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (2332)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (9881) - you deserved it (33886)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

#16613518 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (2100)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by Macy (woman) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (9533) - you deserved it (27832)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (4436)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

#15128708 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (8833) - you deserved it (21885)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (22117) - you deserved it (2268)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

#15114722 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Ldp56 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (8981) - you deserved it (29418)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)