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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (2840)
On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States
Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (7279)
On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (3592)
On 07/01/2011 at 9:05am - animals - by Username - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (9538)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21973) - you deserved it (5667)
On 10/25/2010 at 1:42am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13493) - you deserved it (28025)
On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (3234)
On 09/27/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (11356)
On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (2087)
On 08/09/2010 at 2:18am - intimacy - by SleeplessInSoCal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (2317)
On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9161) - you deserved it (85772)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (3108)
On 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by 4fucksake (woman) - Ireland (Sligo)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45454) - you deserved it (4604)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16030) - you deserved it (8172)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (1658)
On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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