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AbigailSarah93

Offline (the 10/02/2014 at 8:16pm) | Search for a member

AbigailSarah93

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  • Number of visits : 520
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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AbigailSarah93's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42188) - you deserved it (8571)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56241) - you deserved it (9325)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49315) - you deserved it (27557)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45914) - you deserved it (8990)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49367) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

#20003981
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35410) - you deserved it (2572)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (3935)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (9479)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

#16934037
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47400) - you deserved it (3981)

On 07/01/2011 at 9:05am - animals - by Username - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33177) - you deserved it (10905)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

#13585816
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (6355)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:42am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16860) - you deserved it (38798)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

#13221295
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37053) - you deserved it (4285)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (12753)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

#12404191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (2895)

On 08/09/2010 at 2:18am - intimacy - by SleeplessInSoCal (woman) - United States (California)



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