[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

A_Person_FML

Search for a member

A_Person_FML
  • Town/Country : port orchard, wa, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 January 1940 (72 years)
  • Number of visits : 171
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

A_Person_FML's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of A_Person_FML's badges

A_Person_FML's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (705)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

#19577163 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (9303) - you deserved it (1070)

On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (1087)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood randomly mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

#19466370 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (14583) - you deserved it (1682)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

#19441776 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (5791) - you deserved it (982)

On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (1734) - you deserved it (11717)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I actually fell for the "Delete System 32 on your PC, it makes it run faster" trick. FML

#19393658 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (4525) - you deserved it (21989)

On 04/02/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by Noob (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (727)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (7865) - you deserved it (861)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (6558) - you deserved it (2487)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a women asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398 (26)

I agree, your life sucks (6275) - you deserved it (1305)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

#19320127 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (6359) - you deserved it (2703)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (7300) - you deserved it (759)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

#19318409 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (7885) - you deserved it (4283)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

#19314232 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (6919) - you deserved it (13688)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by thatswhatsup66 - United States (South Carolina)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2012 by