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918jacob

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918jacob

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 310
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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918jacob's page activity

Visits<b>GotItWow</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 8:54pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 11:24pm<b>sarah_grace_baby</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 6:16pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 5:13am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 2:29pm

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918jacob's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50128) - you deserved it (7077)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML

#17743299
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (2402)

On 09/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (11821)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

#17479569
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (3337)

On 08/15/2011 at 10:45am - love - by single lady - United States (California)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48144) - you deserved it (2394)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (7826)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36323) - you deserved it (3123)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

#15650544
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (3158)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Imslow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (16225)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12107) - you deserved it (46805)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

#13468876
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (4141)

On 10/16/2010 at 4:20am - love - by Annie - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33079) - you deserved it (3074)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15172) - you deserved it (32397)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

#5504696
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (15041)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by cockroach (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46318) - you deserved it (4579)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)



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