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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21478
  • Number of comments : 5259
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About 5t3ff1k4h : You get one of two things: a kudos or a facepalm from me.

Choose wisely.

5t3ff1k4h's page activity

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Fucked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 11:43am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 12:14am<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 6:47am<b>littlebuck84</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 11:31am<b>platypus546</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 11:37am<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 6:49pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 8:23pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 2:30pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 12:38am<b>ironhead</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:42am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:55am<b>lostinareverie</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 2:51pm<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 2:25am<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 8:00pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:48pm<b>datechnerd</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:36pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 2:52pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 4:59am

5t3ff1k4h's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.


You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of 5t3ff1k4h's badges

5t3ff1k4h's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

by ohshat / 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

by notpregnant / 12/21/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

by farmakakis / 12/21/2009 at 1:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

by itstillhurts / 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

by Anon / 12/19/2009 at 11:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

by Tib / 12/18/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

by nwalsh2009 / 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

by ohmy / 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

by HungryGirl / 10/24/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

by homedoggieo / 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

by WhitneyHouston / 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous