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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 21440
  • Number of comments : 5259
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About 5t3ff1k4h : You get one of two things: a kudos or a facepalm from me.

Choose wisely.

5t3ff1k4h's page activity

Visits<b>Overdue</b> - yesterday at 5:18am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - yesterday at 10:03pm<b>Dajana_M</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 9:13pm<b>sharkgirl4</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 5:21am<b>DravensTheName</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 3:15am<b>isabelc</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:01pm<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 3:38am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 4:21pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 5:42am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 7:38pm<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 6:38pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 8:29pm<b>JordanODST</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 2:57pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 8:52am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 2:41pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 12:15am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 12:14pm<b>debuono420</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 11:56am

Fucked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 11:43am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 12:14am<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 6:47am<b>littlebuck84</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 11:31am<b>platypus546</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 11:37am<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 6:49pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 8:23pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 2:30pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 12:38am<b>ironhead</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:42am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:55am<b>lostinareverie</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 2:51pm<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 2:25am<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 8:00pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:48pm<b>datechnerd</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:36pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 2:52pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 4:59am

5t3ff1k4h's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.


You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of 5t3ff1k4h's badges

5t3ff1k4h's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

by jkbeynon / 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

by anonymous / 12/08/2011 at 5:37am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

by disappoint / 12/08/2011 at 4:14am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

by cuppycakeslove / 12/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States (Ohio) / Health