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3040evan

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3040evan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 544
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 3040evan : I'm 22, live in Georgia and I'm a firefighter.

3040evan's page activity

Visits<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 10:17am<b>firefighteremt92</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 3:01pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 4:36am<b>aaaaahhhh</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:46pm<b>annalily5</b> - the 03/11/2012 at 5:34pm

3040evan's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

3040evan's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55454) - you deserved it (9863)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19615) - you deserved it (1950)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (4784)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (5844)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56455) - you deserved it (10346)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10709) - you deserved it (36808)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (2339)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13124) - you deserved it (24637)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

#19890528
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42188) - you deserved it (2776)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

#19890281
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15886) - you deserved it (29412)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

#19879302
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6859) - you deserved it (46803)

On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)



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