3040evan

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3040evan

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 995
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 3040evan : I'm 22, live in Georgia and I'm a firefighter.

3040evan's page activity

Visits<b>Blue_oreo</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 12:31am<b>TKoA</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 8:59am<b>smolbean</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:05pm<b>saudor</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 5:18pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:05pm<b>angelnursery</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:35pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:16am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:28pm<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:01pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 10:17am<b>firefighteremt92</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 3:01pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 4:36am<b>aaaaahhhh</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:46pm<b>annalily5</b> - the 03/11/2012 at 5:34pm

Fucked!<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:01am

3040evan's FML badges

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It’s in the can

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3040evan's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

by ToxxicAngel / 11/27/2012 at 10:35am / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 5:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

by anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 10:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

by FuckYou / 07/02/2012 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous