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Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 2:02pm) | Search for a member
About 1two3four5six : My favorite shows are Supernatural, That 70's Show, Metalocalypse, and Blue Mountain State. I like rock and metal music and my favorite bands are Steel Panther, Korn, Nine Inch Nails, Blink182, Avenged Sevenfold, Green Day, Fall Out Boy, Panic At The Disco, Motley Crue, Skold, and AC/DC. I spend most of my time on Tumblr or Netflix, I do like talking to people who like the same kind of stuff as me, though, so message me if you wanna talk, especially if it's about Supernatural. :)
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Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Wednesday 26 November 2014