About 1two3four5six : I'm addicted to the internet, funny, sarcastic, smart, and lazy as hell.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48620) - you deserved it (3736)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18371) - you deserved it (2455)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17572) - you deserved it (1753)
On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (1195)
On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7413) - you deserved it (16172)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14983) - you deserved it (814)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17039) - you deserved it (2073)
On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5135) - you deserved it (33598)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20607) - you deserved it (1560)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19218) - you deserved it (1258)
On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)
Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16951) - you deserved it (970)
On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20477) - you deserved it (945)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14895) - you deserved it (1275)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19827) - you deserved it (8002)
On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)
Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21685) - you deserved it (2332)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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