Your everyday life stories

OP here. I don't have time to reply to every single comment, so here's the answers to all of your questions: 1. I was there because I was shopping. I work retail. Duh. "Store manager". 2. I resigned four months ago, with this manager witnessing. Also, I'm not a "he". Lol.

mrmatt008 - 17/07/2009 12:07 - France

Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML

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fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

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PsychoBillyGoat - 26/05/2014 00:47 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

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PsychoBillyGoat

PsychoBillyGoat 23

Monday 26 May 2014 20:13

My wife was worried about the cat because he is elderly and needs meds every 12 hours. He also has no claws ( we got him that way). He has never been outside before but lately he has been trying to get out. Also we live in Alaska, more to worry about then cars and dogs getting him

Jienaf - 17/09/2013 08:26 - Malta - Santa Venera

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

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Jienaf

Jienaf 3

Wednesday 18 September 2013 7:29

Hey guys! Can't believe this got posted! Some of the comments were hilarious, others were downright mean! Let me clarify something, which I believe would shed some more light on the story. She is a very sweet person and you wouldn't ask for a better colleague actually! I actually got round to tell her to stop saying LOL (as in, LOL not L.O.L hehe). That's where started laughing and admitted that she knew that it was annoying and did it on purpose to jokingly annoy her colleagues :) So guess the joke was on us after all :)

Kitchen Nightmares

just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

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Am I being detained?

JimmyT - - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water, and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

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icecreamer - 06/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML

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tarynfaye - 21/12/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

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Are you serious?

ummno - - United States

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

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systematicpanic - 20/03/2014 16:48 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

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systematicpanic

systematicpanic 11

Thursday 20 March 2014 23:43

I'm in second year of uni, and it was a nap i took to psyche myself up for starting the next essay I have to submit by Monday :P so yeah stress is the word!

Anonymous - 20/07/2009 22:44 - United States

Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML

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Not taking it well

runsinthefamily - - United States - Aurora

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

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campus pussy - 22/03/2014 21:08 - United States - Ross

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

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Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

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Idontknowwhattodo - 27/08/2013 10:17 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

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YellowKettleBell - 02/04/2014 02:21 - United States - Houston

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

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YellowKettleBell

YellowKettleBell 31

Wednesday 2 April 2014 23:45

Op here....unfortunately, many kids don't come from homes that are clean and hygienic. That's especially true in economically disadvantaged homes, from which most of my kids come. Some I can tell don't bathe or wash their clothes regularly. Yes, this is my first year. Many teachers said they had similar experiences starting out.