The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 763

You deserved it 3 611

Hey there!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - San Antonio

Spicy

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 631

You deserved it 86 956

By JordanVilleneuve - 28/01/2011 03:35 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 370

You deserved it 7 559

By Anonymous - 06/10/2018 17:30

Today, my husband cancelled our internet and cable package because we’re having money problems. I work from home and need the internet to do so. I guess getting a job of his own wasn’t an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 870

You deserved it 338

I'll leave you to it then…

By scared shitless in ohio - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 337

You deserved it 5 651

Sizing up

By tinyfeet - 02/03/2016 03:15 - New Zealand

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 549

You deserved it 1 304

Experimentation

By Anonymous - 12/10/2012 23:39 - United States - Salem

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 906

You deserved it 3 419

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 785

You deserved it 53 735

By Le Dookie - 19/10/2018 22:00 - United States - Sugar Land

Today, I got denied a refund for my dream coffee machine. I've overdrafted my bank account to buy it on Offer Up for an excellent price, but USPS delivered the package to a wrong address. Someone got it for free. Offer Up won't refund me because it says "delivered" on the tracking page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 328

You deserved it 786

Love hurts

By Sam - 27/08/2020 23:02 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 143

Statistics

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 05:01 - Italy

Spicy

Today, I found out that my 7 friends, with a total of 23 past boyfriends in 11 years, have had 0 orgasms during sex. As someone whose sex ed was basically porn, it felt like finding out Santa wasn't real, but worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 521

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 02:45 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I was threatened to be held back because of the lack of teacher-parent communication. My parents refuse to sign my report card because of my one mark below ninety percent. My teacher was dead serious about failing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 862

You deserved it 1 476

OKAAAAAAAY

By Awkward - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 451

You deserved it 8 142

By Oops - 14/01/2010 15:55 - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 796

You deserved it 33 101

By gunnerette - 21/12/2014 08:30 - Cyprus - Larnaca

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 285

You deserved it 4 058

By Hello condoms and lube - 09/02/2016 21:53 - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I learnt what my boss meant when he said he would 'get his revenge on me' for winning a bet. I have to clean all the rooms that currently have a couple staying in it on February 15th. I don't want to work in a hotel anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 079

You deserved it 1 678

Assumptions

By LL - 04/02/2016 14:13 - United States - Seattle

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 093

You deserved it 3 020

By Unlucky taxi driver - 08/11/2018 14:00

Today, a passenger in my taxi left without paying. They left their phone, so I posted a message about it from their social media, exposing them. Turns out they'd stolen the phone from someone else. I ended up getting arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 515

You deserved it 571

By sideeffect001 - 22/01/2016 17:03 - United States - Logan

Today, the company I work for lost 3-weeks worth of time sheets, so we have to fill them all out again. I don't remember what I did yesterday, let alone three weeks ago. That's why I religiously fill out the time sheets in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 004

You deserved it 1 586

sideeffect001 tells us more.

sideeffect001 22

Sunday 24 January 2016 23:15

OP here, the company does all the timekeeping online. The server went down and they were only able to restore it back to the end of November. I'll be keeping my own copy of hours from now on.

By no love - 01/01/2016 22:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, I celebrated my four-year anniversary with my girlfriend. We didn't have sex and we didn't even kiss. All I got to do was cuddle the stuffed Minion she got me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 419

You deserved it 3 347

The giggle loop

By Smiley - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, as always, I tend to smile and giggle when I'm nervous. I couldn't stop it from happening at my friend's grandmother's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 550

You deserved it 3 787

Cravings

By kylie - 25/12/2018 00:00

Today, I’m trying to be healthy. My friends suggested I keep junk food out of the house so I don’t crave it. Yeah, that didn’t work. My car wouldn’t start so I actually made the four-mile walk to the nearest grocery store to get junk food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 2 803

By too good - 24/10/2014 10:54 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 096

You deserved it 14 605

By NewMom1115 - 17/12/2015 22:53 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I used my phone to take pictures of my hemorrhoids to show my doctor, forgetting I'd set my phone to upload all photos to a shared Dropbox account. My mother-in-law called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 124

You deserved it 7 873

NewMom1115 tells us more.

NewMom1115 5

Friday 18 December 2015 15:58

OP here - wow, it's weird and awesome this made it on the site! Here is some follow-up info: my doctor suggested I take the pics to see if the hemorrhoids were getting worse. I'm a new mom, so I guess sleep deprivation explains why I forgot about the Dropbox account. :)

By pooperscooper - 19/02/2017 14:00 - Australia - Hunters Hill

Spicy

Today, I had to wipe someone else's shit off the toilet seat for the third day in a row. We had a new staff member join our team three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 329

You deserved it 483

Noise Annoys

By Anonymous - 24/03/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, I'm dead on my feet. My flatmate's alarm went off for 20 minutes at 5 a.m., which I heard and he didn't. A car alarm went off outside my window for half an hour at 7 a.m. My building fire alarm went off twice, at 8 and 8:10 a.m. Just let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 314

You deserved it 170

By anonymous - 25/11/2015 01:01 - Canada

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 442

You deserved it 1 528

By Cantbreath94 - 13/11/2010 06:07 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 3 145

By tbree - 19/09/2014 22:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 075

You deserved it 4 479

By oops - 15/07/2012 05:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 882

You deserved it 44 584

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration Intimacy NSFW Sex Growing old Fire Love Awkward Customers Kids Annoying Work Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Animals Cats Neighbours Technology Geek Weird

The Top

The Top

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 344

You deserved it 38 426

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 884

You deserved it 4 708

Today, I went to a wedding with my family. While the maid of honor was giving her non-heartfelt, three sentence speech, my mom and I started talking about how lame her speech was. When I turned around to look at my mom, I saw the camera recording the speech behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 019

You deserved it 45 943

Today, my boyfriend would not ride in my convertible with the top down because he "didn't want to mess up his hair." My boyfriend is prissier than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 440

Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 97

Today, I got my ass kicked by my boss at work. Why? Because I missed my shift on Saturday, because I slept through my alarms and the phone calls from my co-workers, and I woke up three hours later in a state of panic. This is all because of a medicine I'm on for migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 101