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Flexing

By Bastard - 20/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my ex told me that he'd spent $5k on a "VIP Pass" for some kind of music festival next year. My son and I live in poverty and barely squeak by, and this bastard would rather be a rich festival bro than help. He's 36, why the fuck does he want to go to festivals now anyway? FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 421

Self-awareness Day

By Luciano - 11/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 643

Bye bye baby

By OhCanada - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my downstairs neighbor is single, clever and incredibly hot, while the upstairs neighbor is loud and obnoxious, not to mention a creep. I silently prayed every day for my neighbor to leave the building, and today, my prayer was answered: my neighbor moved out. Guess which one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 400

Turn the other cheek

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 477

Things we shoulda talked about

By Sad girl - 25/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, I told my fiancé that my parents and sister would need to move into our house once we got married. He got really mad and started a huge fight. He doesn't understand that once we get married, we'll be family, and in my culture, family sticks together no matter what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 1 210

Great role model

By Anonymous - 04/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Frisco

Today, I realized I married a jerk when my husband grounded his daughter for literally a whole year and completely stripped her room down to just a bed and bookshelf and dresser. What did she do? Kissed a boy. When I told him he was going too far, he told me to STFU and that she was his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 107

Close shave

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 12:00 - Canada - Kent Bridge

Today, as I was taking a walk, I heard a cyclist and so I wanted to move to the other side of the sidewalk for them. It turns out that I walked directly in front of them instead. Nearly scared them to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 133

BFF

By peapapeanut - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, after months of my best friend telling me we were going to be roommates and moving to a new city together, with me trusting her, she ditched me because “everyone” told her not to live with me. She’s still moving, and we’re going to be in the same school and class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 220

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized I hate my wife with a fiery passion. I honestly don’t even care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 353

Reality check

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I posted a video about why men should never date a woman who has a bad relationship with her father. The first comment was from my ex saying, “Errm didn’t both your parents dump your ass in foster care?” It got more than a thousand likes before I turned off comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 698

Findom

By fucking bastard - 17/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, my husband got paid. I checked our bank account and was shocked to see we'd only received $300. I called him, insisting that there was some mistake. He said he'd started a new bank account in his name so he could manage our money on his own, and the $300 was my "allowance". I now want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 317

Brainiac

By Anonymous - 02/08/2026 22:00

Today, my ex-husband has always been a snob about his high IQ and has always been open about his disappointment that our children are academically average, but now he tells me he won’t be helping pay for college because, as he puts it “What’s the point?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 100

Tight fit

By Jeliss - 15/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband says money is tight. Apparently, we can’t afford new shoes for our son who is going back to school next week and we barely have food in the pantry and fridge, yet he pays $19.99/month for an OnlyFans subscription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 66

The simp life

By no more mister nice guy - 21/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I paid for the girl I love to come to a music festival with me. Fifteen minutes after we got there, she was hanging off the arm of some muscly rich douche who barely glanced at me, except to call me "little simpy dude." She giggled as he whisked her off to the VIP area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 229

You did what?

By Now we both get punished! - 06/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm so strapped for cash, I had to send my daughter to play with my neighbor's daughter, both are 5, because she gets fed there. She suddenly came home saying they're not friends anymore, bragging how she hit her and she bled while crying. Why? She bought 2 new toys and gave her one, so they have the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 124

Bad seed

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 27/07/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my youngest daughter failed kindergarten. After 3 years of petit section, junior and senior kindergarten, she still doesn't recognize the teacher's authority. For example, when the teachers are trying to line the children up to come in after recess, she's pulling the kids out of the line and yelling, "Run away!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 393

I think you should leave

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I warned my new boyfriend not to approach my ferret, as he is still quite young and bites when he plays. He ignored me completely because “animals love him”, and when my ferret latched onto his finger, he threw him across the room. Now I can’t find him anywhere in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 92

This is war!

By Help - 26/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 66

Clean break

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was let go from my stepmom's family business because she and my dad are getting a divorce, and she says it's too painful and awkward to have me still hired on. I can't afford a wrongful termination suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 64

High maintenance

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally farted during my orgasm with this new woman I’ve been seeing. She said she’s not into that sort of thing, and no matter how I tried to explain it was just an accident, she asked me to leave, and that she’d call me, maybe, if she can forgive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 82

Tearaway

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 80

The golden child

By Gone - 16/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife changed her mind on us having kids, because her eight year-old son said he liked being an only child. She says that my devastated and angry reaction is incredibly unattractive and immature, and that I need to accept compromise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 61

Cooked

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my partner came home late so I preheated the oven for dinner. My partner got home an hour later, and we put things in the oven. We then go to cook the potatoes on our induction stove. Oh, the stove is off, the breaker must have tripped today. Oh, the oven is on the same fuse. Oh, the food is still frozen. It's 10pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 183

Leaked

By ym - 26/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 103

Self-sabotage

By DumbHead - 15/08/2026 03:00 - India - Chennai

Today, I really like my job and need it for sustenance. Despite that, my brain constantly finds ways to screw up my job. Outside of work, all my friends refer to me as "The Genius" or the "brilliant one". But at work, I'm a dunce. Why brain, why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 187

Guess that's a "No thanks" then

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I tracked down my long-lost daughter after losing her to foster care 26 years ago when I was on drugs. I knocked on her door and introduced myself, going in for a hug. She maced me and physically kicked me back into the hall, threatening a restraining order if I ever spoke to her again, and slammed the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 907

Seek help

By Anonymous - 28/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I realized my friends were right about my obsession for my only son when I found myself genuinely jealous when I heard he recently got a new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 621

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 15/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Carrollton

Today, everyone says I'm being too hard on my son, who I disowned and went no contact with after he cleaned out all of my late wife's belongings without asking. I have nothing, literally nothing left of her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 49

We don't trust you

By Anonymous - 03/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad and stepmom insisted on having a babysitter stay with me while they go off on their 3-week vacation. I'm 22 and work full-time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 78

Gentry

By Hannay - 13/08/2026 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I bought a somewhat rundown house and started working on restoring it, cutting the grass, and doing exterior work. People from the neighborhood have asked me to stop, saying I'm "gentrifying" and "erasing the neighborhood character." I wasn't aware neglect and graffiti counted as character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 61

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 648

You deserved it 57 890

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 302

You deserved it 3 498

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 325

You deserved it 10 956

Today, my 12 year-old brother tried doing laundry for the first time and ruined all my clothes with bleach. When my dad drove him to Walmart to buy replacement clothes for me, he bought me tighty whities. We both have worn boxers our whole lives. My dad won't return them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 356

Today, I was having drilling work done on my teeth. My dentist slipped and drilled a hole in my cheek. I said mistakes happen, but that I didn't expect to pay for the work. They still billed me for it and sent me a prescription that I had to go and get (and pay for) in case it got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 136

Today, I found out the heartbreaking truth of why my husband won’t have sex with me. He cheated, got an STD, and is now waiting for it to clear up before he touches me again. When I confronted him, he flipped out and wrecked the house because I invaded his privacy by going into his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 103