The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week

The top of the month

The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Planning required

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I feel like I’m never going to have satisfying sex again. We have so many kids that I never get a moment’s peace. By the time they’re all taken care of and sleeping, I’m too exhausted to even think about sex. If I do, it’s a “let’s get it out of the way” type quickie to shut my husband up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 263

Sleep the clock around

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I decided to sleep in since I didn't really have anything I had to do. I was woken up at 10:30AM thanks to a spam telemarketer. I turned my phone off and went back to sleep, hoping to wake up around noon. I woke up at 1:30PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 316

Alpha moron

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, after all my years of teaching, I may have met the most ignorant sack of sentient excrement on the planet. A man came into the office demanding his son be transferred out of my class because he can’t be an "alpha" if he’s being taught by a woman (read that as "bitch"). FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 14

GET UP

By Late again - 29/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I set an alarm labeled "DO NOT BE LATE." When it went off, I turned it off, congratulated myself for being responsible, and promptly went back to sleep. I woke up two hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 452

You swap what?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me in on a little family secret. His brothers often swap girlfriends and wives. They insist it’s not weird because the siblings themselves aren’t doing anything together, just the in-laws. It’s still too close for comfort and too weird to ignore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 66

Father figure

By Anonymous - 30/07/2026 22:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I met a truck driver at my job and he gave me some fatherly advice. The whole time I was listening, I was also thinking like, why didn't my dad stay and want to be in my life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 62

Stuck

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my parents canceled our trip to Greece because my siblings were being brats. When I tried to point out that I wasn't doing anything, they just shrugged and said, "Sorry honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 64

Confused man

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad made me come home from work because he couldn’t find his shopping list (on the fridge, in plain sight), his left shoe (by the door, in plain sight), his cane (on the table, in plain sight) or his wallet (in his trouser pocket). He’s 44 and to my knowledge does not have dementia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 66

So, so tired

By Brad - 20/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I got off night shift and went home to make a batch of taquitos. I put them in the oven and sat down on the couch, only to pass out. I woke up 8 hours later to my wife getting home from work and freaking out that the house smelled like smoke. I think I overcooked them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 181

Kidblocked

By Blueballed - 25/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I swear to Christ my kid has a sixth sense. He's normally chill and well behaved, but every single time my wife and I have a moment and things start heating up a little, he either starts crying or throws a tantrum over nothing and kills the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 87

Reality check

By that's a low blow bro - 05/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was staying at a friend's, and I called my girlfriend in the morning to serenade her awake with a sweet song. My friend stared at me, then shook his head and said, "I suddenly understand why you got cheated on in the past." FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 368

A cry for help

By Anonymous - 10/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, is it normal to miss someone who’s hurt you so bad? How do you move on with life after wasting 3 years? How can you move on when everything around you reminds you of that person? When do you know enough is enough? FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 129

Man's best friend

By Anonymous - 20/07/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Woking

Today, I have a dog I got to help motivate me to keep active and prevent the worsening of my chronic pain and limited mobility. My dog just got diagnosed with chronic pain and limited mobility. Misery likes company, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 61

Send em

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, like millions of others before me, I decided to start a YouTube channel. I was thorough, bought all the camera gear, decided on my content, came up with a gimmick, the works. The very first comment I got on my very first video was a request for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 148

Discreet

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I tried to discreetly remove a tiny piece of spinach from my teeth during a meeting. I was looking into my phone camera when I realized I wasn't on the front camera. I had been staring at the meeting in progress through the rear camera for thirty seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 281

Nothing?

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 81

Such a pity

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really tried to talk to my wife how I feel that she hates me and is with me out of pity. She denied it all but by the end of the conversation mentioned she wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 128

Masterchef

By weekend starts here - 09/08/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I put leftovers in the microwave, pressed two minutes, and walked away. I came back to discover I'd started the kitchen timer instead. I'd spent two minutes waiting for food that had never even started warming up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 327

You have been warned

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, a woman showed me a copy of my wedding picture with her face photoshopped over mine. I burst into tears and cussed her out for being a creepy bitch. She had proof my husband had sent it to her that way, saying “this is how it should’ve been”. She was just trying to warn me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 52

Unexpected

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my stepdaughter unexpectedly got her first period during a visit. I explained everything to her, then took her to the store to buy supplies and snacks. Her mother called and cussed me out for “stealing” this experience from her. Yeah I totally planned it to happen this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 55

Suspicious activity

By Lexa - 02/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 93

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I’ve been getting death threats after a former friend did a storytime online about me getting rid of my dog after having a baby. She completely left out I had no choice but to rehome my dog because my baby is deathly allergic and had to be hospitalized for breathing problems from the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 80

Peanut allergies

By Anonymous - 13/08/2026 03:00 - Zimbabwe - Harare

Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 370

Bad start to the marriage

By Confusd - 21/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my hopefully soon-to-be ex husband refuses to get an annulment. His female best friend, who’s been in the picture for years, rage quit our wedding and she blocked him on everything. He’s fallen into a depressed state. When we consummated our marriage he was a like zombie. He still claims he “loves me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 116

Should I stay or should I go?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and said it was a shame that two handsome guys across the room were gay, because real men like that were perfect for marrying and having babies with. She has let me know many times she does not want to marry or have babies. Guess it’s just me she doesn’t want them with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 98

All over the place

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I drove 15 hours to drop my son off at my parents' for their vacation, just for them to tell me that they changed their minds and they're taking my sister's kids instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 69

Memorable challenge

By LieutenantDimwit - 11/08/2026 12:00 - Egypt - Giza

Today, I challenged myself and went skydiving! However, I made the mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. I made it through the freefall, and through most of the canopy bit, until low-blood-sugar induced dizziness made me blackout on final approach. I still remember most of it, but now I feel emasculated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 320

Cats are cool dudes

By Anonymous - 28/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, someone (probably my ex) released a bunch of cats into my house. I’m pants-shittingly, deathly afraid of cats. Animal control can’t guarantee that they caught them all because they have no way of knowing how many were in there in the first place. I’m too terrified to be at home now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 134

Today's mystery item

By Curious George - 19/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I found an old USB drive and spent an hour trying to open it because I was sure it had important files on it. It contained one blurry photo of my thumb and a Word doc titled “Do not open", which was actually blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 262

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 03:00 - Australia

Today, I set practically ten alarms because I absolutely could not oversleep for an important appointment. I woke up two hours early, panicked that I'd missed it, and couldn't fall back asleep. I spent the entire appointment looking like I hadn't slept at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 110

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Technology Geek Weird Animals Cute Miscellaneous Birthday Awkward Cake Scary Birds Drunk Embarrassing Roommate Clumsy Mysterious Clothes Work Cats Smartphone Transportation Poopoo peepee Neighbours Kids

The Top

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 552

You deserved it 12 538

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 335

You deserved it 297

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 278

You deserved it 410

Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 1 946

Today, I was awoken at 3am by hotel management to tell me they received complaints about me from every room within 30 yards of mine, including from the floors above and below me. What was my crime? Snoring loud enough to rattle windows on the other side of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 307

Today, my girlfriend called me a "controlling, overbearing psychopath." What did I do? I found out her best friend is trying to persuade her to cheat on me and I demanded she cut her friend off. I'm better off single, I know, but it still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 89