The Top

Basically, he's had hamsters that have dies before, and we always gave them a funeral... so I didn't want to bury him in a plastic tube so my husband gave me the job of removing the hamster....

Denial

By twinArmageddon2 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 021

You deserved it 11 447

Reveal

By everyoneheard - 28/03/2013 15:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 167

You deserved it 18 267

By dumbass - 01/10/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 806

You deserved it 5 884

Leave me alone !

By failfailfail - 30/09/2009 13:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a big exam. Twenty minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled, "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 037

You deserved it 51 621

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 18:05 - United States - Haslet

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 964

You deserved it 2 623

By MrsRockyHorror - 15/03/2010 08:11 - United States

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 193

You deserved it 7 734

Nutso

By space_cadet90818 - 08/03/2010 00:16 - United States

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 2 934

By inthefamily - 23/10/2012 13:29 - United States - Washington

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 556

You deserved it 36 336

By sadguyme - 22/10/2012 07:31 - United States - Turlock

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 669

You deserved it 5 128

By anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:52 - United States

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 871

You deserved it 3 970

Run away time

By kittyfiddlernono - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Bulgaria - Pernik

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 674

You deserved it 4 462

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 033

You deserved it 49 795

By Applejacks18 - 06/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Helena

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 403

You deserved it 3 487

Applejacks18 tells us more.

Applejacks18 15

Thursday 6 June 2013 18:05

OP here. I was awake for about 2 minutes before they knocked me out again. My tooth actually broke on the way out so I heard the dentist debate with his staff whether or not he should just leave the root in. The dentist is a cool guy and even offered to buy me lunch sometime.

By Anonymous - 09/05/2013 07:01 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 886

You deserved it 4 331