Love

By nerdgirlmickey - 03/03/2013 16:05 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 047

You deserved it 6 960

Joe Smooth

By riiiight - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Warren

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 087

You deserved it 5 935

I'll get my coat

By Rossi - 17/04/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, the guy I like shared a repost on his Instagram story that said, “No message is a message. Take the hint and move on.” He’d left my last message to him on “Seen” for 4 days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 358

Puppy love

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I gave my crush my number in a note that said "Read in private." Not only did she read it in front of her friends, she also laughed at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 232

By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 155

You deserved it 3 787

By Username - 23/12/2010 10:50

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 003

You deserved it 4 810

Tax evasion

By Single4Life - 22/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and file our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 149

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 292

You deserved it 408

By FML - 02/10/2015 21:45 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 554

You deserved it 4 258

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 982

You deserved it 2 642

Your silent face

By twelfinity - 17/07/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 781

You deserved it 5 823

I'm not, but…

By Queerbait - 05/11/2015 06:52 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 423

By Noname - 03/02/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 955

You deserved it 2 976

Roll with it

By anon - 17/09/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 318

By Coquette - 22/04/2012 18:14 - United States

Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 976

You deserved it 5 767

By Angie - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 264

You deserved it 2 000

By LockandKey - 24/02/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 366

You deserved it 28 301

By mammamia - 27/04/2009 12:54 - United States

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 378

You deserved it 71 470

By Getmeout - 31/05/2012 06:50 - United States - Hartfield

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 750

You deserved it 5 747

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 118

You deserved it 3 097

Trigger warning

By Anonymous - 13/10/2023 05:30 - United States - Aiken

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I told him that I was going to tickle him, to which he responded me how he’d “crack” me in the head so that I’d never even think about tickling him again. It threw me into a panic attack and people laughed. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 260

Sneaky sneaky...

By Snowflakepandi - 01/09/2017 13:00

Today, while on vacation, I found out that my boyfriend moved out. He had claimed that he couldn't come with me because his boss messed up his time off request, and for the last two days he said he'd been "cleaning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 490

You deserved it 317

Small world after all

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 20:00

Today, I am now living a nightmare. The house on my left side was just bought by my cheating ex from years ago who I never wanted to see again, and the house on my right side has just had an offer put on it by my boss, whom I despise for being a lazy, entitled rich mama's boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 98

Great way to start the day

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 15:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, once again, after dating someone for a month thinking things were going well, I woke up to a text message saying, “You’re really pretty and a great person but I’m not feeling a relationship vibe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 130

By swim5 - 31/03/2012 12:22 - United States - Tempe

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 531

You deserved it 3 504

Alexa, play "Happy When it Rains" by The Jesus and Mary Chain

By milo jj - 09/02/2022 21:59

Today, I went on a date with a girl who told me, “Sunny weather makes me depressed.” I’d hate to see what’s she’s like when it rains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 241

Gotta get that clout

By Burr - 27/02/2024 11:00 - Brazil - Divinópolis

Today, my ex-boyfriend not only gave me syphilis, he published a video on all social media accusing ME to have given it to him, without ANY proof, and everyone believed him. Not only did he destroy my "social" life online, but he gained a lot of followers by doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 143

By Poem - 19/12/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 056

You deserved it 26 303

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 978

You deserved it 8 316

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 598

You deserved it 6 751

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 339

You deserved it 25 452

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 020

You deserved it 39 629

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 424

You deserved it 4 723

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 081

You deserved it 4 526

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 815

You deserved it 6 579