dante123113

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Dante123113's favorite FMLs

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

agreeclassic 58 166

vote type 1 3 967

Home sweet home

By Anon - 30/04/2014 02:07 - United States - Maidens

Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML

agreeclassic 46 917

vote type 1 5 046

You bastard

By ccgundum - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Vancouver

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

agreeclassic 53 061

vote type 1 4 055

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

agreeclassic 28 375

vote type 1 35 786

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 21:02 - United States

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

agreeclassic 13 493

vote type 1 32 044