Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML
Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML
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