Heather_Eve

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Heather_eve's favorite FMLs

By sm@rtie - 03/01/2009 08:38 - France

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

agreeclassic 25 697

vote type 1 8 291

By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

agreeclassic 58 491

vote type 1 9 876

By bloodprincess - 25/06/2013 17:13 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

agreeclassic 51 498

vote type 1 4 861

bloodprincess app_comment_confession_title

bloodprincess 11

Wednesday 3 July 2013 8:42

I'm really quiet and well my family chooses to ignore me unless it is time for house work.

By s0m3guy2010 - 19/04/2013 00:06 - United States

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

agreeclassic 41 454

vote type 1 3 828

s0m3guy2010 app_comment_confession_title

s0m3guy2010 21

Friday 19 April 2013 14:04

I know he was bacon for a heart attack. Although the dryer didn't break, I was really porked from doing laundry until he was able to clean everything out.

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

agreeclassic 53 070

vote type 1 5 414